Showing posts with label ache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ache. Show all posts

Thursday, January 24, 2013

ENMG and TMS and OMFG.

Ugh. Today I had to go through the annoyance of having my neural pathways re-examined and the horrifyingly disgusting feeling of having magnetic impulses sent straight into the part of my brain that controls body movements.

The ENMG is okay, it's only slightly annoying. But the TMS thing, oh my god how I loathe it. This was the second time they did the TMS procedure and I was feeling really fucking anxious beforehand, because the operation had caused my EDS aches in my limbs to flare up really bad back when I was still paralyzed and in hospital. This time it felt slightly different, probably due to my legs working again, but it was still terrible. I could barely walk afterwards. Luckily I had my walker with me and my darling husband there to help me. And my painkillers ready and waiting for me in my bag.

There is something SO horrible with magnetic impulses and EDS combined. I still feel like there's a magnetic storm going on in my head, my arms and legs ache and my back, well, let's not go into that, because that would not be pretty, were I to describe how my back feels right now. LOTS of cursing, that's what it'd be.


Anyway, I got them examinations done and hopefully never have to go through the TMS again. 


Had to buy cigarettes from the hospital kiosk and have a couple of fags afterwards.






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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Those little things that help with everyday living (part I)

Today I felt like writing about mundane, small things that help with coping with everyday life when one has a condition that makes living difficult, such as EDS.


Like I've written before, I have trouble with my hands and forearms aching like hell and thus having a hard time with all sorts of things that need to be done round the house etc. I also have a problem with being a stubborn creature of the worst kind, if I may say so myself... Stubborn in a way like: "I'll manage by myself", "fuck it, I'll carry this and that myself (even if I know it's nearly impossible)", I'll walk, fuck taking a taxi", "I don't need help", "I'll promise myself to do this and that and whatever in time for this and that and I'll do it even if I know it's not possible, fuck it I'll manage, I'll have to manage" and so on.

A real stubborn one, me. But now that I've gotten my diagnosis, I'm starting to try and learn to take things more... seriously, responsively, thoughtfully... um, realistically (oh how I dislike realism, me, hahhah)? Give things, the smallest of things, a bit more thought before rushing head first into doing something. It all boils down to admitting to oneself, that I am not capable of doing all and everything I used to be / what other people are able to do. And hard as it is already, admitting one's decreased capabilities to oneself, being a stubborn arsehole such as I am doesn't exactly help with this whole accepting things as they are -business.


So. It really is a thing that has to be taken care of, the admitting part.

Here are some examples of the small things in daily life I need adjusting with. Okay, first one that comes to mind is making coffee. Lifting the coffee pot, filling it with water, pouring the water into the coffee maker bla bla bla. If I am merely making coffee for myself, the amount of water needed is not much and so the coffee pot when filled with the right amount of water is easier to lift. But if I'm making coffee for more people than just myself, I have come to realise, that it is very much easier to manage with the whole water process-thing by taking following steps: 1. filling the pot little by little, not pouring the whole lot of water into the coffee maker at once; 2. taking a steady grip of the coffee pot with both hands. Makes things a whole lot easier, doesn't take much of extra effort.

Same with filling a bottle of water for drinking. See, in our household we prefer to drink water from bottles and the reason for this is our four enthusiastic and playful cats. Whenever they see a glass of water, they proceed to try and drink from it, throwing it onto the floor, you know the deal I'm sure. So bottles that can be carried around and most importantly be closed so that there's no threat of spillage in case a cat comes near enough. Aaaaanyway, what I was originally wanting to say is this: I refrain from filling my bottle full (it takes 0,9 litres). Genious! Hahhah. No, but seriously, I'm such an over-achiever that even if my hands ache like motherfuckers and I can't hold even a light whatever sturdily enough I go about filling the bottle and then trying to carry it with me in ways I can't even begin to try and explain. No. That's come to an end now. Half or two thirds is good enough for me now.


Other things I do to make my life easier include and are not limited to:

- I have a plastic little chair for me to sit on while taking a shower if I feel too weak to stand up

- I use walls, bookcases and what ever sturdy enough vertical surfaces there are near me to help support myself on

- I am trying my hardest to not do things that need usage of my hands and fingers whenever they ache too much (ie knitting, handwashing laundry, doing the dishes etc)

- changing the shoes I use according to my current situation with stability and aches (plus I only have shoes that are either ankle-tall, have laces or straps around ankles or are boots and those with laces, too) - plus there's this interesting thing with me feeling a lot more stable with at least about five centimeters of heel. So my collection of shoes (which is a rather big one... yeah, ironically enough I'm a collector of shoes) consists mainly of ones with medium to rather high heels, because that's how I've used to moving around. With heels. A big fan of platforms I am, as well. The taller the shoes the better (although I do get a bit dizzy some days on really tall shoes)

- I do my best to avoid letting any and all of my joints locking, one thing I've been doing all my life

- I do not run, ever. Because I can't, thanks to my ankles going where ever they want to, wobbling and giving up if they so feel fit doing

- I do my best to avoid being in straight contact with anything cold, because ouch and goddamn cold hurts me really bad: I immediately feel like my skin and flesh are about to burst and blow up into sharp tiny pieces and fragments of frozen flesh (wintertime in Finland, oh how I love thee.... OUCH)

- I have wrist and ankle supports, am getting special rings to help prevent my fingers bending into the wrong direction, will probably need to get myself a some sort of belt to help support my torso if I'm feeling extra weak and need to be up and about, have a SOS locket from the Red Cross that encloses a small info sheet about all of my chronic diseases, medications, allergies, phone numbers of people to contact in case of emergency and so on. It's made of silver and rather pleasing to the eye, too. Sturdy, has a great locking mechanism (that can be a bit tricky if fingers lack agility, though) and stays closed and is waterproof. And even the info sheet is made of waterproof paper. To those of you Finns reading this, you can get one here (it is also available in steel, mine's of silver like the one I linked)



I have no idea if there were other things I meant to include in this list (see - lists again <3 ). But that's something, at least.

Now I shall go and take a well-earned nap.



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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

List number one.

As I am waiting if the aching in my hands would be kind enough to subside so that I could do some fixing my hair today just in order to feel a bit more like a human being, I'll write about things in my daily life that EDS makes difficult or even impossible. Just list things up a little. 


My blog, my ranting. So here goes:


1. no strength in my hands whatsoever when the aches are really bad (got the strength of my grip measured with a special apparatus made for that one day while I was in the hospital and the pain was really really bad: right hand about 0,5 kilograms, left hand less than that. That is not much at all, unfortunately) and the things it makes difficult to do:

-holding my mug of coffee / tea / water without spilling things all over myself
-brushing my teeth
-washing the dishes
-doing laundry (especially the hanging it to dry -part)
-lifting things such as my laptop, plates, etc
-drawing (one day I could not hold a pen in my hand, so bad was the pain)
-holding my cell phone
-knitting and crocheting and thus expressing myself


2. standing up (without having to lean onto something stable)


3. walking because of pain in my back and legs and thus not being able to, for instance:

-going grocery shopping
-running around taking care of other important things
-traveling to spend time with my friends


4. sleeping, because I keep waking up because of intense pain


5. not a chance whatsoever of studying or working


6. taking a shower because of chance of slipping on the wet bathroom floor


7. exercising to try and keep my muscles in good enough shape to, say, be able to stand up or walk


8. not being coherent enough to take care of important "official" things due to being a bit out of it because of being on a heavy pain medication


9. not being able to use a walking aid because of my wrists being weak and hypermobile


10. not being able to enjoy even the smallest of things, for example bird-watching through the window because of being in such an intense pain




Shit, the list could go on and on but at this point it's making me so depressed that I'll stop here.




This is my life, my everyday life with all the difficulties and struggles having Ehlers-Danlos syndrome causes me to have.