ENMG and TMS and OMFG.

Ugh. Today I had to go through the annoyance of having my neural pathways re-examined and the horrifyingly disgusting feeling of having magnetic impulses sent straight into the part of my brain that controls body movements.

The ENMG is okay, it's only slightly annoying. But the TMS thing, oh my god how I loathe it. This was the second time they did the TMS procedure and I was feeling really fucking anxious beforehand, because the operation had caused my EDS aches in my limbs to flare up really bad back when I was still paralyzed and in hospital. This time it felt slightly different, probably due to my legs working again, but it was still terrible. I could barely walk afterwards. Luckily I had my walker with me and my darling husband there to help me. And my painkillers ready and waiting for me in my bag.

There is something SO horrible with magnetic impulses and EDS combined. I still feel like there's a magnetic storm going on in my head, my arms and legs ache and my back, well, let's not go into that, because that would not be pretty, were I to describe how my back feels right now. LOTS of cursing, that's what it'd be.

Anyway, I got them examinations done and hopefully never have to go through the TMS again. 

Had to buy cigarettes from the hospital kiosk and have a couple of fags afterwards.

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List number one.

As I am waiting if the aching in my hands would be kind enough to subside so that I could do some fixing my hair today just in order to feel a bit more like a human being, I'll write about things in my daily life that EDS makes difficult or even impossible. Just list things up a little. 

My blog, my ranting. So here goes:

1. no strength in my hands whatsoever when the aches are really bad (got the strength of my grip measured with a special apparatus made for that one day while I was in the hospital and the pain was really really bad: right hand about 0,5 kilograms, left hand less than that. That is not much at all, unfortunately) and the things it makes difficult to do:

-holding my mug of coffee / tea / water without spilling things all over myself

-brushing my teeth

-washing the dishes

-doing laundry (especially the hanging it to dry -part)

-lifting things such as my laptop, plates, etc

-drawing (one day I could not hold a pen in my hand, so bad was the pain)

-holding my cell phone
-knitting and crocheting and thus expressing myself

2. standing up (without having to lean onto something stable)

3. walking because of pain in my back and legs and thus not being able to, for instance:

-going grocery shopping

-running around taking care of other important things
-traveling to spend time with my friends

4. sleeping, because I keep waking up because of intense pain

5. not a chance whatsoever of studying or working

6. taking a shower because of chance of slipping on the wet bathroom floor

7. exercising to try and keep my muscles in good enough shape to, say, be able to stand up or walk

8. not being coherent enough to take care of important "official" things due to being a bit out of it because of being on a heavy pain medication

9. not being able to use a walking aid because of my wrists being weak and hypermobile

10. not being able to enjoy even the smallest of things, for example bird-watching through the window because of being in such an intense pain

Shit, the list could go on and on but at this point it's making me so depressed that I'll stop here.

This is my life, my everyday life with all the difficulties and struggles having Ehlers-Danlos syndrome causes me to have.